Pumped up!

Preparing for my #PowerShiftMsia interview.  Sounds familiar? Find out more here 

I have never feel so pumped up to return to campus. Found new direction, new page of my life!

#Environment #Sustainability #Youth Movement

Don't feel like posting much today, just a song for you all :)

Who doesn't love A sky full of stars? Enjoy the song :D

Oh! It's National Day soon, let's hope for a brighter future, brighter sky full of stars for Malaysia!

FIGHTING FOR FUTURE #TripleF

xxx

Life Milestone- Completion of my first degree!

"Our time at university is a time where eventually, but not easily, we figure out who we are and what's important to us. Growth is not an option, but no matter what, it sneaks up on us somehow. And without realising it we will see that the choices we make and the experience gained, in turn light the way forward. And before we know it, we would have realised that, yes, we have grown. We have changed. "

Time never flies. It is just a matter of growth.
3 years is not long but this surely must be the most intensive 3 years in my life so far. 
Starting as a freshman until completing the killer design project, I survived! A very typical quote for graduation: Thanks for everyone who supported me during my UG journey; my family, friends, lecturers, and even non-living things such as Google & Wikipedia :P But really! Without them, I am nothing. Okay I guess I am already showing a typical female's expression towards their success, as according to Sheryl Sandberg's LEAN IN

"Ask a woman to explain why she's successful and she will credit luck, hard work, and help of others. Ask a man the same question, and he is likely to explain, or at least think, "C'mon, I am awesome!"

 (I was reading this book recently, so much head nodding moment. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! especially for fresh graduates) 

Back to the topic. Many things changed all the way long. Remember in first year, I was so determined to got for MEng. And what happened now? BEng is enough. I have had enough of engineering! Should have trusted my mum's saying not to study Engineering at the very first place. But yeah, never regretted choosing this path :)

I am glad that I found my ultimate interest throughout these years. It is always not too late to discover and learn. I must say UNMC really inspire and grow me alot. Although I am not the brightest or most diligent student in the class, but trust me, I have faith in myself because I know what I want to achieve in my life. I don't found it funny when corporate recruitment interviews always ask questions like HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE COMING 5 YEARS. It is something that the outside world expect fresh-graduates to have. It strikes me many time, but clear enough, I have determined my goal and it's so different compare to the old me. 

I just found it weird that graduation happens 2.5 months after all the suffering exams and final year projects. I am totally out of that graduation mood to be honest. I have completed it long time ago, no? lol. Anyways, once in a lifetime thing. So make it the fullest! My mum was abit exaggerating while helping me to prepare for the convo. Because of her, I-dyed my hair; shopped for convo dress; hunt for respective accessories (earrings, heels, bags etc); went for facial twice; full make-up for me... She even asked me to whiten my teeth and pierce my earring holes which didn't happened eventually. It is not even my wedding :O

Graduation day was just amazing (but freaking exhausted). Met up with many coursemates and many of them already have plans. Some secured a job, with high pay, some got offered for further studies (as usual). And me? still confused what to do next, abit slow isn't it? I wasn't really in the mood that day to be honest. Probably because of the exhaustion and uncomfortable wearing the hood, eiks. Anyways, the only moment that really make me stop wandering around and stay focused was when Professor Christine Ennew and Dr Eliabeth Lee's speech. Sharing a few quotes here:

" I wish to attest to you now that the 1st lesson to be learnt is that the future is what you will make of it. You have goals, you have ambitions; you set the direction, you set the sails; you take that journey but not before you plan for the trip. In your preparations you must picture the way ahead, survey the landscape, anticipate the pitfalls, and strategize on the best passage, before you begin on that great quest. As for excitement? It will be as exciting as you make it out to be."

So, for my dear graduand fellows, University life was awesome, filled with emotions, challenges, happiness, everything! We smiled, laughed, get depressed, frustrated together; but everything have to come to an end. Now it is the time to pack your stuff, get set, brace yourself; and SHINE! 

All the best the 13/14 batch UNMC graduates :) p.s. Remember this Nottingham official font? Verdana 10- who accompanied you for the past 3-4 years :P

My Language Competency vs Identity crisis

I was doing a self reflection last night. Just for awhile. And then I stopped. Realising that I am using English (unconciously!) to sort out my thoughts. Then I was thinking: Does that mean my first language have changed from Mandarin to English? Because back then when I was overseas, especially the most recent one in India; I always tell the others my first language is Mandarin. So I switched my direction of self reflection from life purpose to my language competency.

But heyyyy look. I am using English to type this blog post too! So it further implies...? Well. Let me analyse my current language usage in normal daily life first.
p.s. I chose to use English for this post so that most of my readers can understand :D easy :p

" When a speaker of a second language pronounces that language perfectly, without any traces of the mother tongue, means that he or she is losing his or her identity? Some speakers, even living in a foreign country for years, keep the accent in order to set their identity. It’s like if losing the accent all that they are… disappear!" 
extracted from Building Linguistic wordpress website.

It's a struggle actually. Since high school, no, primary school I guess. I believe I am not the only one. Most of the Malaysian Chinese are all facing the same struggle: LANGUAGE + identity crisis.
How? If you are a Malaysian Chinese from a strong Chinese family background; then you may know what I am going to talk about.

I went through a typical Malaysian Chinese education system (language wised). Went to a Chinese primary school, learnt every major subjects by using Chinese as medium language for 6 years. Then proceeded to a government high school which mainly used Malay Language for most of the subjects besides Sciences & Maths (in English), for 5 years. Tertiary education wised I attended private College & University in Malaysia which used purely English for all teachings. So right now it is time to review how does my language competency developed throughout these years via different medium of languages used. Come to think about it, WOW I actually went through 3 different languages of teaching! Amazing, isn't it :p hohoho

Anyways. I realised it's a struggle to survive in Malaysia's multi-language market. GLC, MNCs & Academic Institutions (mostly) requires excellent English; Govermental work requires both Malay & English (mostly Malay), SMEs are mostly Chinese owns so they prefer Mandarin speaking employees, in daily life you need all 3 languages(at least for me) to communicate in restaurants, shopping malls, petrol kiosks etc. How exactly can I excel in all 3 languages? Do I need to do so?

Right now I self recognised my Mandarin as my first language, in terms of speaking, reading and writing. But writing & reading in Mandarin itself is different level kind of challenge for me. I prefer to read & write in Mandarin when it comes to 抒发情感方面。see. I don't know how to express in English lol. Okay more like when it comes to personal emotional writing (like blogging, diaries etc); and also in reading or writing some philosophy kind of topics because my "bombastic" and "literature" vocabs in English is much poorer than Mandarin. Whereas for a more scientific/technical and formal writing (formal letters, documentations etc) I will prefer English (more like I ONLY know how to use English). I learnt Sciences in English all the time, except for the short period of time in primary school. And you know those Chemical names in Mandarin is a total alien to me o.O So yeah. Just English.

So when people ask me what is your first language? Again, I don't really know. You gotta be more specific when asking me this question. You should ask me "what is your first language when it comes to reading/commenting on scientific topics" etc. But who will ask this way? Struggle. Which exactly is my first language?? Hmmm Are you in the same boat as me? Do you think we should be perfect in just one language or just leave it this way?

Now talking about accent.

Weird thing about me (is it just me or..?) is that I tend to SWITCH my accent when I speak to different people. Example:
I will use a more "proper" Mandarin to converse when I am talking to a China Chinese or Taiwanese. I don't really know why but I just feel weird to speak Malaysian style Mandarin to them! Previously I think it's embarassing to talk "improper" Mandarin especially when I am talking to foreigners. So we need to be "more class" and speak "proper" Mandarin to show that our Mandarin also not bad one. (Sorry, Malaysian English :P) Some people will find it fake. "Why la you want to pretend like them when you speak? Just speak like the way you do in Malaysia maaaa" things like that happened. But slowly when I met more Chinese & Taiwanese, they actually showed interest to learn the Malaysian style Mandarin. They found it interesting actually. So heyyy it is not a shameful thing to speak like that. I slowly feel proud of our accent. There is no "proper" or "improper" language in the world. It's just that we are in different places, but it doesn't mean that your language is "wrong". It's a culture, a heritage, a language that we should feel proud of :)

Same goes to my English. I have this weird accent, sometimes. The not-so Malaysian/Asian accent; especially when I am doing formal presentation or speaking to foreigners. And I loooove British accent so much! Found it sexy and gentle and elegant compare to American accent (sorry oops no offense). So I tend to learn and mimic British accent nowadays. But it's too hard to catch up. Sigh. Anyways, I don't know how people view me with this somehow "fake" accent but it's just a me thing. And I always can't accept Malaysians using the "improper" English accent when giving formal speeches or lecturing. It will lost my interest to continue listening to them. I just found it unacceptable and weird. Maybe it's just me. I should change my perspective in this. It's not about the accent, really. But... ok I need time to adjust ><

Next time in my CV or whatever job application, think about your language competency. Am I really qualified to state that I am a native level in xxx language when you are only good in reading/writing certain topics/documentations in it? And how does language competency affect your own identity?

Confused. Struggle. Identity Crisis.